Post Post Post Prost

It's obviously unusual for me to post more than once a day - or even once a month - or scarily enough even once every couple months. I suppose I have been rather uninspired until today with regard to my general interests. Maybe its my new beautiful haircut that has brought me back to life.

Or maybe its just that time of year when its so drab that you simply have to find solace in something that makes you happy so you don't go off the deep end.

Or maybe its the Gwyneth Paltrow Detox I've been doing for the last week. Veggie power kicking in?

Ehhhh....I'll attribute it to my new hair. 

I spent a few hours going through magazines, websites, and areas generally associated with high style. Unfortunately, my mullet-chic-inspired haircut was nowhere to be found. Was it because my taste is off? Oh thats right. Thats not possible. It's the usual thing that happens to me...I get something in my head that I want so badly and I spend weeks and months trying to find it - and cant - because it essentially doesn't exist. Then. Two years later it pops up in 10 different colors at Express and I want to kill somebody. Yes this has really happened. Multiple times. One time I designed purple boots in my dream. They were amazing.

So I did what I do. I turned to art for inspiration. And my dear friend who is very in tune with Japanese Anime, culture and hair. I describe for her what I want. I am not surprised when she immediately sends me a picture.

If I was slightly more hipster I would have kept it exactly...but I dont like putting in that much effort to curl the long and straighten the short. So I did a softer version. I hope it doesn't take too long for others to get hair inspiration from Anime. This chick is Lightning from Final Fantasy...I dont know much about her but apparently she is the real deal in the FFVII world. Me likey!

Colossal Volume Express Mascara

I would like to state for the record that Maybelline's Colossal Volume Express Mascara is NOT the best mascara at the drug store. It makes your lashes look like spider legs - not in a good way.

As a makeup professional, I would like inform you all that L'Oreal's Telescopic and/or Voluminous in Carbon Black are by far the best on the market.

Thank you very much,

C

Well dressed? Yes. Smart? Maybe not.

If you dont want to bang your head against a wall after reading this blog entry by my dearest LaLohan then we probably wouldn't be friends in real life. 

"Washington, D.C.,-you're in a club, you are for support for someone that you care for very much, VERY MUCH.. But, you're here just to chill and support, not be seen and heard... Not to be on display in the dj booth...or to feel as if you are in a cage at the Bronx Zoo...Do you see what i am getting at???

Alright, so i am literally sitting in the dj booth at a club in Washington, D.C. where Samantha is djing and they have a computer at the back of the booth which i am on right now..aside from the fact that she is an amazing dj and i am having a nice time, the glass mirror placed to my left to hide me from photos (literally) is making all a bit uncomfortable!!!

This blog isnt really intended to mean much, it's just something to let people into my life-kind of a blog to let people know that i am working hard and i go out when samantha is working because she's pretty great to hear and i love to be around her and her energy as much as possible. 

Sitting here makes me think about the fact that if Sarah Palin was in office, and living in Washington..on a "slow" night, she would probably be dressing as one of the gossip girls or tina fey to try and "be cool" enough to get into this club. I guess me thinking, and blogging about her gives her more attention and credit than she actually deserveds.. but as Madonna says. "Express Yourself"so...i will

now and forever

be blessed 

xx L"

My Translation:

I am the most beautiful and coolest caged animal person alive. Im not even trying to get people's attention tonight and they are still trying to see how cool and beautiful I am. But really, I am deep and smart. Sure I may be confused by run-on sentences but who cares because I love SamRo. I think even Sarah Palin wants to be as cool and well dressed as I am - she wishes she was cool enough to get into this cool club I dont even want to be at right now. 

Fuck all of you - but fuck you the most.

xx

LL

Maybe I could do a 10 things I hate about Lohan blog. This would be one of them. 

10 Things I love about Lohan

No introduction neccessary. Let's get down to business.

1. She wears leggings all the time. Sometimes people say to me "oh, you look like you're not wearing pants" and I go "Lohan wore this outfit last week, loser."

2. She hangs out with Karl Lagerfeld! He's 80 and rocks motorcycle gloves . Which to me says that she must have some personality if she can hang with a mean queen who is a fashion snob.

3. Remember when she went through that phase before she was a dating SamRo where she just hooked up with tons of dudes and slutted-it-up all over Italy?
And then flashed her crotch a couple times?
And then dated that gigalo Calum Best?
And then ran away from a coked out car wreck with an American Apparel sweatshirt over her head?
And then she stole Riley Giles from his girlfriend who wrote about her all over her myspace?
That was ridiculous.
Her life is a soap opera and so is mine....so I love her.
4. She is awesome because she loves black clothes. Just like Victoria Beckham, Christian Siriano, Meghan Fox, Madonna, Rihanna, Angelina Jolie, and me. See?  Going all black isn't always the answer - but - actually it kind of is. So here are monochromatic get ups of hers that make me happy. I want them.

5. These dresses. Apparently when I like color I like lots of it.6. Her totally fragrant display of sideboob makes me feel like a woman. I identify with her sideboob.

7. Her affinity for only one shade of blue. AND Fringe. I own the triple fringe black Minnetonka's and they're sweet. ($80 for suede? Come on.)

8. Themeless outfits that I love.
Those plaid leggings are actually tights and they took me days to find online. I will own them this winter.
Fur! Screw PETA and Pam Anderson. Next!
That crop top reminds me of something my sister would've worn in high school and upon seeing someone wearing it now she would immediately call them white trash. I of course like it.
The zebra dress.....because I OWN IT. SNAP.
The street sign mini-skirt. Also retro - reminiscent of the late Le Chateau.
Sequins with that hat? Perfect.

9. The large gray top theme! They look grandfathery like they're no big deal but that first cardigan with the print on it is Alexander Wang and like $300 last fall. They have a more cropped version of it at Anthropologie right now for around $130. Still not worth it but right up my ally.
I adore the belt at the bottom of the shirt. That shiny one...I sort of own something like that from Target - its a silver knit except its short sleeve. Once again, we have the same taste.
Lastly, LOVE those bondage heels.
10. I mean...Seriously? These pictures are beyond ridiculous. They are also a throw back to the time when she was totally out of control. The days where I would think to myself "I wonder what Lohan got herself into last night?" and then doot-deet-doot-doot... oh just holding knives lesbionically to Vaness Minillofolders' throat.
When this happened, Vanessa lived in my friend's building in New York. She saw her coming home bombed all the time and to do sexy time things with Nick Lachey. I wonder if he knew she was doing this with Lohan, and if these pictures were in her apartment. Deep thoughts.

Raging Case of Duchovny

Today I was watching a re-run of The View. I know! I said that I would never watch again recently due to Whoopi Goldberg not being controversial enough and the retarded things they have been talking about lately (i.e. Christie Brinkley's divorce). I broke. But I learned 2 new things today. 1. That I will steal the "binky song" (4/21/08) from Hasselback if I should ever need it and 2. That for some ungodly reason Craig Furguson miraculously beat Conan O'Brien in ratings for the first time (whenever this episode originally aired).

CRAIG FURGUSON SUCKS. Not funny. Not even with the accent.

Then I started feeling guilty that I haven't been as devout of a Conan fan as I have been in the past and now feel personally responsible for not tuning in and allowing this abomination of a not funny comedian to beat out my beloved Conan.

This combined with my anticipation for seeing the X-Files movie and accidentally watching Calfornication after my favorite show WEEDS! prompted a brief David Duchovny crush relapse and led to this video choice. I saw this particular sketch the first day it aired years ago and never since. If I remember correctly, Google existed but youtube didn't; shortly after I scoured the Internet for a video of this just so I could watch it again.

No luck then.

I remembered, I found, I post. Enjoy.

I love how shopbop does this: Be inspired by your pajama pants! Just when you think that maybe your lame ass Old Navy PJs might have some additional usefulness and maybe they will look that hot with a cute top and heels, you "click here" and realize the pants featured in the picture are Elizabeth and James by Ashley and MKO. And are $395 dollars. And are therefore mediculously designed to look awesome and carefree when actually each seem and line has been repeatedly critiqued by the industry's best. And suddenly I am grateful that I "clicked here" and didn't make an ass out of myself by wearing my Old Navy PJ bottoms with heels and a slutty top this weekend. Be inspired! But be forwarned: dont try this at home without over priced (but oh-so-scrumptous) pants.

Karl Lagerfeld and Cheeseheads

Turning over a new leaf, I went to bed early last night and woke up early this morning - a simple feat for most people, but requiring a huge effort for me. I run/walk around, get a coffee, come back home, surf my go-to websites which are too shallow or politically controversial to mention when you hardly even know me yet, and think "I wonder what I can post about in my next blog? I cant force it though. I guess I'll just have to wait" Then BAM. Style.com never fails me! Karl Lagerfeld, WHY DO YOU TEASE ME SO!?

It reminded me of an incident a few years back when he came out with his one-time line for H & M. I made it early to the Michigan Ave store, fought the crowds and ended up with this black see-through top that was 2 sizes too small. Attached to the sheer black bodice it had a super-starchy, abnormally-tall white collar. Signature. Karl Lagerfeld freaking signature. And what did I do? I decided for the first time in my life not to buy something in hopes of losing weight to fit into it - like a stupid fat moron. Years later I'm at least 2 sizes smaller and that wonderfully cheap piece of fabulous Karl Lagerfeld is probably in some unappreciative, loser girl's closet in Wisconsin.

But isn't Karl sweet? So sweet.